One of my neighbor’s oldest son just turned 9 years-old. To celebrate his new year, his parents are going to let him stay home alone for the hour between when school lets out and they return home from work. Though he won’t truly be alone, we live in a very tight-knit complex, he is bursting with pride about his hour of near adult-ness each day.
When I first heard this news I was appalled. How could a boy so young be left alone for an entire hour? What if, on a random day, all of the neighbors left the building? Or a horde of criminals descended on our peaceful area? Or a terrible fire broke out?
After my near panic attack thinking up the thousands of possibilities of horror that could be unleashed in that hour, a simpler thought dawned on me. I was a near 8 years-old when my parents did the same thing. And I turned out OK. Maybe, that sweet, calm, mature boy that I know will turn out alright as well.
According to the US Department of Child Welfare , parents should consider certain questions about their child before leaving them home alone. Is your child mature enough to care for himself and make good decisions? Is your child comfortable about being home alone? Do you trust your child to obey the rules?
Of course, parents that live in safe neighborhoods may feel more comfortable leaving their child home alone, as well as parents who know that their homes are protected by alarm systems and watchful neighbors.
Is your child ready to stay home alone?
If your child is talking about being too old for a babysitter, but yo are still unsure, there are simple things that you can do to determine is it too soon to be left home alone.
- Talk about it. Spend some time have a frank conversation about just what staying home alone means. Discuss your child’s feelings and thoughts, as well as asking the important “what would you do if …” questions.
- Create a set of home alone rules and post them where your child can see them. Work together with your child to create a list of rules that you both feel comfortable with. Is ordering take-out OK, or playing outside, or cooking?
- Give your child a test run to see how well he does. Choose a short amount of time during the day to see how well your child reacts to being home alone. Kids who are not ready may become afraid after only a few minutes, or lose the ability to follow the rules.
- Check in frequently. The first few times, it can be comforting for you and your child to check in frequently and make sure things are going well. If you cannot, have a neighbor or relative that you trust call or visit to see how your child is doing.
If your child is old enough and mature enough to go without a babysitter, try not to overdo the time alone too often. A child able to care for himself may not be ready to care for younger siblings yet, which requires even more maturity and can strain a sibling relationship. Also, some children can handle a night or two alone but not every week. If you can, schedule fun activities and events for your child during some of the times you need to be away. Even dropping your child off at a friend’s house can be a great compromise between babysitter and home alone.
It is a tough age, the space between child and adult. Parents want to make sure their their children are safe and cared for, while those children are feeling the tugs of independence. Knowing when it is time to cancel the sitter and let your child stay home alone is a personal decision, one that changes based on your child’s maturity and your home’s safety. If you have been hearing begging to stay home alone for a while it may be time to give your child a trial run.
You’ll never know if you don’t give it a try.
Summer Minor is a mother and freelance writer along historic Route 66. Her blog, Finding Summer , is where she shares the triumphs and concerns of modern parenting.
[...] Staying Home Alone: How Old is Too Old For a Sitter? [...]